Concession Speech

My friends, we have come to the end of a long journey. I take this opportunity to announce that I have lost the campaign. In a contest as long and difficult as this has been, blogging commands my respect for its rampant pervasiveness. And that it has managed to inspire the hopes of so many millions of Americans who had once wrongly believed that their lives had little value and that they had no friends is something I deeply admire and commend blogs for achieving.

The blogging world and I have had and argued our differences, and it has prevailed. No doubt many of those differences remain. These are difficult times, and I pledge to do all in my power to help blogs lead us through the many challenges we face. I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in offering blogging our earnest effort to find ways to come together, to find the necessary compromises, to bridge our differences, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better cyberspace than we inherited. Whatever our differences, we are now fellow bloggers.

I graciously thank my supporters for their valiant efforts. Though we fell short, the failure is mine, not yours. But do not think all was lost; my evangelism against blogging has been valuable. I believe that I have brought attention to important issues including, but not limited to, online spousal nudity, public discussion of bathroom behaviors, and unnecessary pleas for attention. And please believe me when I say that I faithfully remain committed to the cause.

I don't know what more I could have done to try to win this crusade against blogging. Every person makes mistakes, and I'm sure I made my share of them. In attempt to avoid such losses in the future, I would like to identify some of my pitfalls. Maybe it was your blog that I became so fond of following. Maybe it was my introduction to facebook and the conclusion of my life as a social introvert. Maybe it was because I found Lucy’s baby book and saw that the last entry in it was from 2005. Maybe it was because I grew tired of sending out mass emails attached photographs. Maybe it was because my kids think I chit-chat on the phone too much (Is 2,530 minutes per month too much?) so instead of calling me to find out how I’m doing, you can just look online. I can hardly believe I just said that.

This is an historic day, and I recognize the special significance it has for the opposing party. So now I congratulate the blogging world for luring me in. But before I am called a hypocrite, let me invite you to think of me as a humble conceedor. My husband has often warned me that my strong opinions are sure to create quandaries for me. Thankfully, I do not have a problem admitting I am wrong. In fact, I have become quite proficient, as it has been required in regards to many statements I have made over the past few years.

As in, “I will not ever get pregnant again.” (Three pregnancies ago. And it was worth it.)

And “I will not ever drive a minivan.” (2003 Honda Odyssey. But never again.)

And “I will not ever move to Ogden.” (Here I am. In downtown Ogden. And I like it.)

Americans never hide from history, we make history. And that is exactly what I intend to do with this blog. Thank you all very much.


Kristin said...

WOO HOO!!! I am very proud of you young lady! I always knew you'd come around. We all do. Great speech.

i'm h.mac said...

great speech, great writing.

Bridgett said...

I'm so glad that the blogging force has finally pushed you over the edge. Welcome to the land of posting things that maybe you shouldn't. I still defend my right to post a picture of my husband's bare bum on the internet.
Now lets begin with embarrassing our children with inappropriate stories that they will hate us for one day. The internet is great, glad you have joined us. Genius speech.

The Ballard's said...

I am pleased. I feel in some small way I have contributed our country, the people of America and your posterity. Welcome, welcome. It is with great pleasure, that I take this opportunity to add you to the list of Americans documenting history. Thank you for your sacrifice and your willingness to admit when you've been beaten. In a different way you will come out ahead.

Yours Truly
An advocate for the blogging party.

Aneesa said...

welcome welcome to one of my favorite writing outlets!

Kacie said...

That is hilarious. I knew deep in my heart that this day was coming......

Rebecca said...

You are hilarious! That is the funniest post I have ever read!

You are such a great writer and I can't wait to become your biggest fan. Yours were my favorite letters to receive on my mission (no offense to anyone else whose letters I also deeply appreciated) so I'm sure that your blog will also be a favorite.

I also LOVE that picture of the kiddos at the top! Beautiful! When did you take that? You should totally blow it up and put it on your wall. Beautiful.

Welcome welcome welcome!!!!!

your favorite sister

Rebecca said...

I thought that sounded familiar:)

Jacqui said...

You are amazing! I found you on facebook and now...a blog. Very fun! I hope things are going well for you guys. I really want to come down and visit the restaurant. I keep telling my step-mom we need to plan the trip...cause it's so far away.
Here is my blog...and I hope to stay in touch with you guys. I miss you!

The Conlins said...

Good for you! Welcome aboard. I'm looking forward to your posts after your first commanding performance. My posts are dumb and uninteresting to others but it is sort of my journal.

libertyjed said...

Brilliant. Clever. True. Another reason why I love my ECO neighbors.

Sonora was excellent last Friday. The culinary delights made quite an impression on my blind date (and our sneaky friends who set it up), even if I didn't.

Julee said...

Great speech Emily, the blogging world welcomes you with open arms!

Hess said...

welcome to the blogging world, never say never because you will always end up doing what you pledged to never do! The new addition to the family is gorgeous!!

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