I love craigslist.

I do not like KSL.

I do not like KSL because then there are two separate forums that I need to search, when looking for an item to buy and that there are two separate forums that I need to post on, when trying to sell an item.

I do not like KSL because I feel like I am an advertising target.

I do not KSL because they do not provide adequate geographical search functions.

I do not like KSL because it is local. (Strange, I never thought I would use that as a reason NOT to like something, but in this case, it's a problem.)

I do appreciate that there are appropriate venues to sell items of value that do not involve parading all of your junk on your front lawn. Yes, I have had garage sales. (One of them grossed us $1000.) But my last garage sale took place in 2003, and believe me, it was my last.

And I do have a list of improvements I would like to see implemented by craigslist (like the function on ebay where I can be notified by email when an item within my parameters is listed). And there are some issues with explicit listings. And I wish they had the for sale category on a separate website since I'm not really into online discussion groups. Or personals.

Despite those qualms, I have decided to boycott KSL and will no longer be searching or listing on their website. (Easy for me to say now that we do not have any vehicles for sale.)

Craiglist will have to suffice on it's own for now. I am pretty satisfied with it. Last week when we cleaned out Derrick's room and posted a folding desk I bought when I was a sophomore in college, a desk chair we've had since we were first married, and a cork board from a DownEast tent sale. Sold all three for $50. Enough to make me feel okay with ordering pizza for my efforts.

And just think of all those people I helped. #1 The mom who just moved here from Washington and told me it was fate that brought us together because she was so frustrated with her children's school that she was ready to start home schooling. . . until I told her about Ogden Prep. #2 The recently-divorced young lady who got me to go down ten bucks from my listed price on the chair because she really needed to replace her folding chair that she sits in while studying for college classes at Weber State. (Part of her payment was made in change.) #3 The lady from Illinois who has searched high and low for two years for the very Pottery Barn surfboard cork board I was selling. At first I told her I wouldn't sell it to her because I wasn't interested in shipping it, but then she emailed me three detailed pictures to show me how to ship it, told me she would pay whatever it cost to ship, and threw in an extra ten bucks for my efforts. Guess she really wanted it.

And now I will warn you, stop reading here, if you are short on time and need to be productive.

Because now I want to tell you what happened the other day. I was editing a cover letter for a friend and googled "Dear Sir and Madam vs. Dear Madam and Sir" and came across a link that took me to best of craigslist. I never knew such a thing existed, but apparently, it's been on there since 2000.

I love the cautions that are listed at the top, stating that the postings are nominated by craigslist readers, and are not necessarily endorsed by craigslist staff. And that the postings maybe be explicitly sexual, scatalogical, (anyone else have to look that one up?) offensive, graphic, tasteless, and/or not funny. Please know that they are serious about all of those except for not being funny. Here are a few of my favorites that I read. When I should have been sleeping.

Dear Sir or Madam whole stole my bicycle wheel -m4m- -m4w-

Date: 2009-07-21, 2:25PM PDT, SF bay area

Dear Sir or Madam who stole my bicycle wheel,
I have a proposal.

For several days after you stole my 26" rear wheel from my mountain bike, you caused me a dilemma. All I could think of were two options.
1) Buy a new rear wheel: This hardly seemed worthwhile because my bike only cost $25 from Goodwill when I got it and a new back wheel/tire will cost two to three times that much.
2) Buy a used wheel from the Ashby Flea market: We all know this is where stolen wheels go to find new homes. (In fact, I have searched here for my wheel to no avail.) While this option is cheap ($10), it would feel like I am benefiting from someone else's misfortune. (Probably because I would be benefiting from someone else's misfortune).

But then I had a brilliant idea.

Rather than buying a new wheel or a used wheel stolen from someone else, why don't you sell me back my own wheel. I can pay you the $10 you would have made and then I can save the time and stress of finding a new wheel. If it makes a difference, I could even pay you in alcohol or whatever drug habit you were trying to feed.

We can even meet on the same corner where you took my wheel and make it feel all natural. You can walk by and say, "Hey buddy, I notice that your bike seems to be missing a rear wheel. Well, it just so happens I have an extra rear wheel right here with me. Would you like it?" And I can say, "You're right, kind sir. I am missing a rear wheel. That is very nice of you. It just so happens that I have $10 worth of alcohol, that I was going to use drown my sorrow about not having a bicycle wheel. But now that I have a bicycle wheel, I don't need it. Why don't you take it." And then we can both feel good about ourselves.

Please let me know if this works for you.


- - - - - - - - - - -

i need help moving my chickens

Date: 2009-07-26, 11:04PM CDT, Houston

I have approximately 1,243 chickens that need to be transported, i began my journey with my mini van but just was not working out, too many trips and too much $#!* and feathers, and with no ac it makes it very difficult when constantly tempted to roll the windows down, and because doing it all by hand i have lost 1 out of 4 chickens with my first 3 trips. if you have reasonable transportation for this chicken operation plz let me know. thank you.


- - - - - - - - - -

300 Stuffed Penguins Free to Good Home

Date: 2009-06-06, 5:38PM CDT, Austin

What I'm offering here is about 300 stuffed penguins of various shapes, sizes, and species (predominately Emperor, though--like the kind in March of the Penguins) to a deserving child.

I'm going through a pretty weird time in my life right now--having just gone through a break-up and graduated college and temporarily living in my parents' house before I move out for good in in the fall, though I remain unemployed because my philosophy degree is at *such* a premium--and sifting through my room (which has become a strange amalgam of my adolescence and burgeoning adulthood), it's been brought to my attention that I probably won't "catch a man" or have anyone believe I'm about to turn 23 with 300 penguins and a bunch of purple furniture around, that looking at my current room one might think some sort of 13-year-old with developmental issues is living here. I loved penguins as a child--long before they were trendy and had their own series of CGI movies or the godly voice of Morgan Freeman was involved--and collected them, often putting on penguin weddings and penguin ballet recitals where I made costumes for individual penguins, all of whom had names that I kept track of on my penguin censuses. I could recite all 16 species of penguin in alphabetical order...

...so, yes, I feel justified in saying I want a deserving child. A child that will really, well, love the penguins, and cherish his/her youth with them as it slowly slips away... Or, alternatively, some adult who has a great use for them, like if you are making the next big penguin movie (or play?). Or, if you are opening some new theme restaurant in town and need my penguins for your decor. As long as I'm auctioning off my childhood to the highest bidder, I reserve the right to be a little choosy.

E-mail with your intentions and we will work something out.

- - - - - - - - - -

I also enjoyed the post from the husband trying to sell his 1,325 pope hats to save his marriage, the businessman looking for a personal texting assistant since he can't handle responding to all of his texts on top of his regular workload, and the girl looking for a man with a very expensive sports car to pose having a conversation with her for thirty minutes on a Tuesday. Classy.

I never knew craigslist could be so entertaining. I'm betting there's no "Best of KSL".

Winner by a landslide: craigslist.


James and Jade Bethers said...

That is some funny stuff!!!

Min D said...

I am not even going to go to the Best of Craigslist website as I can tell I would be there all day reading and laughing thus causing me to be unproductive.

- Mindy S

Melissa and Mitch said...

I love it. Man, people are creative and crazy.