Return Receipt #1093487684864

Last week, I was sick in bed for a couple days and my good husband offered to run some errands for me. I told him there were a bunch of packages in the back of my car that needed to go to the post office, and he agreed to take them there for me. A few days later, one of the packages was returned back to me because there was no postage on it. I asked him if he forgot to pay for one of the packages. . . and he told me he didn't pay for any of them.


"I just walked to the front of the counter and dropped them off and left, like I normally do," he explained.

"Yeah, but that's when I print out pre-paid labels for the postage. Those packages hadn't been paid for."

"Well, you didn't say that. You just told me to take them to the post office, so that's what I did."

I was immediately bothered/more like really upset about the packages because #1 Who drops off packages at the post office without looking to see if there is postage on them? #2 I didn't include my return address on some of the packages. And #3 I couldn't even remember what all of the packages were. . . They were all "returns" that had accumulated over the last few months.

Miraculously, to date, I have received emails verifying the receipt of four of the seven "lost" packages. And so far, there hasn't been any mention about the lack of postage.

So initially, I worried that we were going to lose all of the packages. . . and some $400 worth of merchandise (a replacement part for our broken microwave, three pairs of shoes to REI, some ridiculously expensive underwear from Hanna Andersson for big-bummed little girls, etc.) But instead, it looks like Steve just saved me fifty bucks in postage.

Who knew you could get away with something like that?

Well, that was a really long story to explain why this return receipt email I received the other day was especially amusing/almost made me pee my pants:

Ms. Ballard,

Thank you for the opportunity to use and investigate/break your Wii. The children have taken advantage of hosting it in our home. Within 24 hours they were seeing/making problems. With a detailed analysis and an extreme case of applied guilt it was diagnosed as simply needing a new cord. Our in house/gone for the hunting weekend mechanic will order and deliver the new cord once it arrives at our warehouse/house of wear & tear. An additional shipping notice will be sent at that time/or not. Due to the recent developments, Rachel will no longer need to make an appointment to use the Wii gaming system as it will no longer be in our possession. We will be sending all working items as well as destroyed items, with our earliest delivery route/when I get off work. We expect that the delivery will take place sometime within the next 2 days. It will not be necessary for you to sign for the delivery as we will drop it and run to prevent any further damage.

Ms. Ballard, we do want to inform you that in the future we will go to great lengths to prevent a situation like this happening again/we will not borrow anything over $3. We appreciate your patience in the matter and do understand a low rating if you choose to provide such. Our borrowing reputation is important to us and we again apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.

Thank you for your time,

Ms. Ballard/Angela
Depatment of Failure
801 941-XXXX


The Ballard's said...

Well I am glad you thought it was funny:)

Rebecca said...

Angie, You are SO funny! I just love you:)