We Must Be Poor. . . and Other Funny Things That Adam Said

I have been texting myself funny things that Adam has been saying. These date clear back to the month of April.

"We must be poor because we don't have any tissues in our house. Everyone else has tissues at their house, but we just use toilet paper."

April 2012 (I think I had an eye infection.)
A few days later, Adam got a red, chapped strip above his upper lip from all of the nose wiping. He came out of the bathroom, and in complete seriousness announced, "I think I'm getting a mustache!?!" We all laughed, but while he was brushing his teeth before bed, he was looking at himself in the mirror, quite concerned. "Mom, I think the other kids are going to laugh at me." He was genuinely relieved when I explained to him that it was just chapped and would go away. And for the record, I went and bought some tissues. 

One day, he was really slow getting into the car, so I asked him if he could hurry. "Yeah, I was just looking at the sky to see if Jesus was coming down yet."

Adam told me that his head got too hot for his hair, and he needed me to buzz it off. (Yes, just like Pedro.)

April 2012
Adam and Kaleigh were happily playing with Play-Doh on the kitchen counter when Kaleigh started crying. So I asked Adam what he did to her. He chuckled and said "I just told her she had way too much confidence."

"Mom, just so you know my favorite letter is P. Because that's how I know what button to push to make popcorn."

May 2012
Adam: I'm not going to church unless I can bring my tiger. Mom, did you hear me? I'm not going to church unless I can bring my tiger. Those are your only options. Mom? Can you hear what I'm saying to you?
Me: I'm ignoring you.
Adam: What's ignoring mean?
Me: It means that I'm going to pretend that I can't hear you. And the reason why I'm ignoring you is because you aren't being very respectful.
Adam: Oh, okay. (And then he just walked away. . . !)

May 2012
After taking the bread in sacrament meeting, he chewed it and then very loudly proclaimed, "Mmmmm. Tastes like the Last Supper."

"I would do anything to get a dog. Really, Mom, anything. Like take dancing lessons or buy you whatever you want at the dollar store."

Kaleigh went to Grandma's house for a sleepover and Adam exclaimed, "Finally! I'll be able to get some good rest tonight." I asked him what he was talking about and he told me that Kaleigh talks to him all night long and he never gets any sleep.

May 2012
"I can't believe there are only 26 letters in the alphabet. Really, mom, I can't!"

Adam (while taking a bath): Mom! This is turning into the worst day ever!
Me: Why?
Adam: Because the shampoos keep falling down on my head.

Adam (while eating cantaloupe): I only like this about ten precent. . . so I'm going to stop eating it now. (Please note the spelling of precent. . . because that's exactly how he pronounces it.)

Adam: Mom, can you turn on the bideo?
Madey: How many times do I have to keep telling you? It's v-ideo, not b-ideo!

August 2012
Adam still pronounces a lot of words incorrectly, and he's also made up some new terms. The words stomach and tummy have been combined into a new hybrid word, stummy. As in, "I have a stummyache."

Adam (and Kaleigh) added an extra syllable to Alaska, and transformed it into Alas-i-ka.

Adam adds two extra syllables onto words when he makes them plural. As in, "I have the coughases." (In our house you don't have "a cough", you have "the coughs", which in Adam's case is "the coughases".)

I think he needs to spend more time with Madey, so she can correct his pronunciation all day. Except that Madey's house is Adam's favorite place to have accidents:

July 2012
I guess I need to stop thinking some of these things are funny and start correcting him myself. . .

I finally figured out where Adam got his whole "next day" thing from. Anytime I say that we are doing something tomorrow, he will ask if that is "next day". . . as if he doesn't know the definition of the word tomorrow. I was at Kaleigh's preschool registration and as soon as I heard Adam's former preschool teacher say "next day", I knew he'd picked it up from her. She told me that she never uses the word tomorrow with her kids because she has different classes on M/W/F and T/R, so none of the same kids come back two days in a row. Instead, she always uses the term "next day".

There are a number of other interesting terms Adam uses:

"I get first bath!" That means he wants to get in the bath before Kaleigh. . . with the plan that if he hurries and gets ready for bed, he will be able to play on the iPad while he is waiting for Kaleigh.

"Can I have pretend sleep?" This means he wants to either take a book to bed (on a school night) or take the iPad to bed (on a non-school night). Kaleigh is on the top bunk and Adam sleeps on the bottom, so if he is sneaky, she doesn't know what he's doing.

Adam often asks if it is daytime or nighttime. . . I think this might have started in Alaska when it was still light outside late at night?

And then there was the day Adam told me he really needed some Coronas. He really just wanted some crayons


byoung said...

love it!

Min said...

Too funny. "Mmmmm. Tastes like the Last Supper." is my favorite by far.

Gloria said...

It is great you have written them down, because with time you forget all those cute things!

Natalie B. said...

So funny! I wish I would have written more of the funny things down that my boys said. So sad, but you really do forget. I am hoping the memories come flooding back when I am resurrected. :) Glad you are up and public again!

Ally said...

Oh this is absolutely hilarious! I love that you document this so that you can show him when he's older but also the rest of us can laugh! Haha!