10.28.2012

Spin Class

Last Wednesday, I went to my very first spin class at Gold's Gym. My friend, Sherry, was one of the teachers.

I looked online to find a good image to go with spinning and came across this wonderful monologue, complete with awesome sketches that illustrate my experience pretty well. I am going to cut and paste it directly on my blog because I want to omit a couple of parts :)

I have a friend who is a hard-core athlete. In her spare time she likes to teach fitness classes at a gym. She asked me to go to her spin class the other night. I said "sure," never having gone to a spin class, but thinking it would be a good workout. Like I said, she is hard-core and very competitive. I should have known that she would teach a class that would not be for sissies.
It started out easy enough: just sit on the bike and pedal. Excellent. Then the music started and suddenly it was all:
Hmm, well ok, I guess I can do that.
Then after about ten seconds I heard it again:
Well hold on now, I thought I just did ... say, is there a delayed echo in here?
But, we just...
Um, excuse me? Do what now?
At this point, we were about 2.16 minutes (I'm guesstimating) into an hour-long class, and my legs had turned to Jell-O.
I was alternating between turning beet-red...
...and nauseated-green.
And then I heard:
Um, no thanks.
I was afraid of what would come out of my mouth if I opened it at that moment. It would be either:
OPTION A: A string of obscenities that would make me sound possessed.
OPTION B: My lunch.
Or possibly both (there's a visual for ya). So I kept my mouth closed and focused on breathing and staying upright on the seat.
Now, for the more astute readers, you may be saying to yourself: "But Julie, you were in a spin class, ergo, you were on a stationary bike,
ergo, staying upright on the seat, a.k.a. *balancing*, should be a non-issue."
Well, you would be wrong. Or you just wouldn't know me very well.
You see, at well-choreographed points during the class, the teachers (did I mention there were two of them?) would ask us to sit back, take our hands off the handlebars, and...
Now, is it just me, or does everyone's badonk slink forward the second they sit upright on a bike, like yay?
So I was sliding down and hunching over like a turtle so I didn't lose saddle contact, and I was expected to put my arms behind my head.

Riiiight.
I did manage to survive
the class *and* not slide off. And, when the teacher asked the class to praise ourselves for something we did well, I was able to come up with two things:
Number One: Not vomiting!
and, Numero Dos: Not Passing Out!
Cue applause.
Oh, and the studio was at the top of the stairs. Since my leg muscles were beyond muscle confusion (let's call it muscle *stupor*), I saw that "walking down the stairs" was not really an option.
Athletic stance to the rescue! With a bit of a slant.
P.S. I have mad respect for these spinners.
So, do any of you normal people out there go to spin class?

. . . . . . 


I mistakenly thought that Sherry's spin class would be a good way to ease myself back into going to the gym. Turns out there was nothing easy about it. Nausea wasn't my problem, but I was dead tired after ten minutes. And that part about walking down the stairs after the class. . . I seriously hobbled down those stairs.

Ask me in a few days, and I will tell you if it's easier the second time around. . . 

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHA!! Thank you for the visuals :) that was hilarious and very true to point!! I'm glad you came and I hope you didn't scare too many people with this post ;) It gets easier (not really) Wahhoo! -Sherry

i'm h.mac said...

great string of posts! put a smile on my face. that spin post, oh my - laughing the entire time.....

and, you may never have to twist my gym arm again after that post. i will say a flat out no instead of maybe. expletives would come out my mouth and then you would never look at me the same.

Gloria said...

Your blogs are so entertaining! Love them.