Most Improved Student. . . And Funniest Too

Adam didn't actually win an award or anything, but I am constantly surprised by his academic improvements. I always knew he was clever. But Adam started out the school year barely writing his name and not willing to sit down and listen to a book. Now, thanks to his devoted teacher and wonderful programs like Raz-Kids and Sumdog, Adam is writing, reading, and adding numbers like a champ. 

Adam is still a bit behind on so many other things. (He can't ride a bike and he still wears and regularly wets through a Pull-Up at night. . . twice, so far this week.) I suppose it makes it that much more fun to celebrate his successes at school. 

Adam's teacher regularly waves me down in the hall. It makes me so nervous because my first thought is always that he's done something wrong. But it turns out that he behaves very well for his teacher. (His behavior in the lunch room is a different story. . . ) His teacher always has a funny story to tell me and repeatedly says that she's never had a kindergarten student with a sense of humor as developed as Adam's. I think she is being sincere when she says how much fun he is to have in her class. Here are some funny Adam quotes from the past few weeks. 

Adam: Mom, these pants are too tight! They make me feel like a grownup tiger stuck in a baby tiger's fur!

Adam: Mom, I need you to buy me some vitamins. Okay? Mom! Are you listening to me?
Me: What?
Adam: I really need some vitamins. Because I'm eating a lot of sugar everyday, but I still want to grow up and be strong.

Me: Adam, hurry and get your shoes on.
Adam: Sorry, Mom. Not now, I've got a date with destiny.

Adam: You know, I've been having showers for a long time now. So I think it's probably time that I can quit.

Adam (looking at the Nutrition Facts on a box of cereal): Mom! Have you seen how much sugar is in these things?!? You should not let me eat this anymore.
And then just two minutes later. . .
Adam: Mom, can I please have some more? Because they taste really good.

We finally took Adam skiing again:

I only got one picture because Ethan broke his collarbone, so we weren't there for long. We put Adam in a ski lesson, and I caught up to them going down Little Cat. Adam was stopped at the entrance to the little terrain park. He was attempting to have a conversation with his 20-year old instructor, but she clearly didn't get what he was talking about. He seemed relieved when he saw me because I would understand. "Look, Mom," he said, pointing to the STOP sign, "this word is made out of two blends."

He also asked me the other day "Mom, is Facebook a sight word?"

He comes up with lots of funny stories:

Adam: Mom, want to know what I do late at night while you're asleep? I sneak downstairs and use big knives to cut apples. And I've been holding onto that secret since I was five.

He teaches me all sorts of things that make me laugh:

Adam: Did you know that the wintertime is really bad for mouses because the hawks will come and eat them?

Adam: Did you know that the Earth holds many mysteries?

And he has some pretty witty comebacks:

Me: Adam, your goal right now is to be the first person in the car with their seatbelt on.
Adam: No, that's not my goal. My goal is to get good at electronics. And I have to focus on one goal at a time.

Adam (after hitting Kaleigh): Sorry, Mom. I was just over-pressured.

. . . . .

Rachel is funny too.

Rachel: We should go to Sam and Kacie's house sometime. I miss their heated toilet seat.

Rachel (after tooting): How can that horrible smell come from a sweet little girl like me?

Rachel: If you ever feel like we need to move somewhere, the places I'm willing to move are Alaska and Logan.

Some of the things she says are not very funny:

Rachel: Mom, there was this day a week or two ago and I dropped some mail off the porch into the bushes. Did you get it?

(Ummmm. Let's just cross our fingers that it wasn't important. . . because nobody sends anything important in the mail, right?)

And once in a while, Steve thinks he is funny:

Steve: I would say that living with four girls (and all of their hair) is probably equivalent to living with cats and dogs.

If you understood his aversion (and allergies) to cats and dogs, you would understand how offensive that statement was.


Mindy said...

You know you'll never have a dull moment with Adam around :) I can't believe the stuff he comes up with already.

Rebecca said...

Those quotes from Adam made me laugh so hard!