11.05.2013

Not What I Had on My Calendar

Steve and I have both used the Apple application Calendar (previously known as iCal) for years. We finally got smart and and synced all of our calendars with each other. It's awesome. I always know what he has going on for the day, and he always knows what I'm doing. . . or at least what I'm supposed to be doing. 

In an attempt to be a better mother and wake up before my kids in the morning, I set a goal to go to bed at 11:30 pm. So I put it on the calendar:


Which turned out to be so very ironic because I didn't end up getting any real sleep that night. Adam started coughing during church and never stopped. We loaded him up with Delsym and some cold medication, but instead of suppressing his cough, it just made him crazy hyper. Adam came in our bed, and I made Steve go somewhere else so he could get some sleep. Adam and I watched Hulu, played games on the iPad, and listened to books on RAZ Kids: 


And I listened to Adam cough. All. night. long. 

He didn't close his eyes once. Because he was too hyper. I tried to sleep, but he kept jumping on my face and doing other crazy things that were non-conducive to sleeping. 

The next morning, I took Adam to the doctor. Which was a big deal because we were on Day 362 without insurance. It was the first time I've had to take any of the kids to the doctor without insurance. . . can you believe it? We left with a prescription for some cough syrup. Steve wasn't impressed. "Did you tell the doctor that something is wrong with him? That he always gets sick? That he's been coughing for over a month? That he keeps getting everyone else sick?"

Our week was over scheduled. Steve had to put together a booth for the 100th Year of Scouting Broadcast. We went to Evergreen Montessori's Halloween Carnival. I yelled at some girls coached another basketball game. I helped organize the 3rd Annual Jefferson Avenue Halloween Parade. (Attended by some eighty people.) We hosted the 6th Annual Sonora Grill Pumpkin Carving Contest and Facebook Costume Contest. Steve organized OPA's Ribbon Cutting Ceremony. (I took the photos.) I took the kids to jump at Get Air. Steve took the Scouts camping at Antelope Island. (And he even took some great pictures!) I went to Salt Lake for a UHS class reunion planning meeting in Salt Lake. And we went to a Weber State Basketball Game.

All of those things were on our calendar. 

Let's just say that there were a whole lot of other things that took place last week. And they were not what I had on my calendar.

But we got through it.

Barely. 

We are thankful that we have a good counselor at LDS Family Services who can help us when we are in need of counsel. I am thankful for good daughters who don't get too embarrassed when I cry in front of their friends. I am thankful for good friends who bring me Cookies & Cream Milkshakes from Chick-fil-A when I am feeling completely defeated. And I am thankful for my good neighbors who genuinely care about me. And my kids. And my granddaughter.

This one:


The one who likes to drink her Sonora Grill salsa with a straw. (It's so sad. . . I had four other really cute iPhone pictures of Mykaeleigh grinning from ear to ear with that salsa, but I accidentally deleted them . . . And of course that was right after I turned off Photostream.)

Our counselor looked me right in the eye yesterday and said, "This is your new normal." Almost as if he had read my blog post from a few weeks ago.

But I don't know if this will ever seen "normal". Even after five years, our whole situation still seems so unreal.

As soon as we were back in our car, I begged Steve to let me go to Kenya. But he said no. Again. Something about how you shouldn't run away from your problems.

(Even though I didn't get to go, you should still check out this blog and read about the cool project that my friend is doing in Kenya. Brooke and her boys got on a plane yesterday with 300 lbs. of supplies to take the the Nazarene Children's Home. They are still collecting monetary donations so they can purchase blankets, towels, food, and school supplies once they arrive. (Donations can be made via PayPal here. . . five or ten bucks can go a long way in Kenya.)

I went to the gym this morning and listened to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's recent General Conference talk, Like a Broken Vessel.

And I liked these quotes:

"It is crucial to remember that we are living--and chose to live--in a fallen world where for divine purposes our pursuit of godliness will be tested and tried again and again. Of greatest assurance in God's plan is that a Savior was promised, a Redeemer, who through our faith in Him would lift us triumphantly over those tests and trials, even though the cost to do so would be unfathomable for both the Father who sent Him and the Son who came. It is only an appreciation of this divine love that will make our own lesser suffering first bearable, then understandable, and finally redemptive."

"We are infinitely more than our limitations or our afflictions!"

"Don't assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient."

"Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to "stand still" or "be still"--and wait. Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education."

. . . . . .

Remember when Rachel told me that I wasn't very patient, but that I was a good trip planner?

Now you get why I wanted to go to Kenya. . . 

3 comments:

Jaynee said...

I am so bummed that you broke your streak!!! But there's some nasty stuff going around right now, and I can see why you did it. I've been sick since our trip to Indy. Hazel caught it after her birthday, but has bounced back pretty quick... I think it's the essential oils I've been giving her. They're not working on me, though... I'm too far gone.

The Ballard's said...

Mike Ballard's Birthday is October 27th.

emily ballard said...

I didn't realize it before, but that screenshot of my calendar is deceiving. It's my November 2013 calendar, but it still shows the last few days of October at the top because November 1st was on a Friday. I should have cut off the November 2013 part since those dates are from October, not November. Make sense? I spent the whole day on October 27th remembering Mike's birthday. I promise.